I believe in Jesus. Today is Christmas-and although I’ll probably be posting this after the New Year-my thoughts are with Jesus as they always should be. I can should all over myself but that’s never productive. I’m wanting and currently developing a stronger relationship with Him. That’s the T. That might not be popular or appreciated by many but it doesn’t matter. Some of you might say “Who asked?” and to that I reply: This is my blog, my safe space to be me and if you don’t like it-stop reading.
The point is, I do believe in Jesus Christ and accept Him as my Savior. It means a lot to me. I might’ve declared it another lifetime ago and I might’ve accomplished several lifetimes of sinning between then and now and I’m sure I’ve got a laundry-list of sins I’ve yet to complete but that’s beside the point, truly.
Whether we can call this my recommitment to God and His son or my first public announcement in my adult life-I just want to say that I love Jesus Christ and I accept Him as my Lord and Savior. I believe in Him. And on a day like today, in the world we live in now, I think it might be more socially acceptable if this post was “I believe in Santa” instead but it’s not and it feels good to claim Him.
I can admit that I’m still human and I’ve made many, many mistakes and I’ll make many, many more. Being a “Christian” is conflated with so many other awful depictions that sharing this feels dirtier than sharing a drug-induced-sexual-indulgence-during-my-college-era story. I’ve hesitated to unabashedly claim Jesus as my Savior because I haven’t wanted to make other people uncomfortable-or more honestly make myself uncomfortable with the inaccurate assumptions by others upon sharing my faith.
I was actually advised by a professor during my semester studying at Christian university to not wear a cross around my neck when I enter the professional world because it could cause me many problems. That confused me. I also ended up switching colleges after one semester-but that’s a different story.
My faith is faith and nothing more than that. It may be a tiny baby blooming flower that has so much room to grow but it’s mine. It’s between me and God. I’m excited about it! I am excited for whatever faith you choose as well!
I promise this not a declaration to preach or to convert anyone. Christians and vegans alike have become infamous for their evangelistic way of being. That is not me. This is my page-sharing and discovering who I am. This is still not something I run around sharing for no reason because I do believe that religion and politics are typical conversations that you avoid with most people-especially in a professional or unfamiliar setting.
I’m aware that a large part of being a Christian-and as stated in (with my little understanding of) the Bible-is obeying God in His asking you share His word and His son with everyone. To me, that translates to Love. Love everyone. Love everyone even when they’re awful. We’re all awful at some points any way. Jesus died for us. I can only be grateful and love others in the same steadfast way. I don’t believe that means being pushy or trying to rack up conversion rates like God’s keeping score. As if. Leadership is best executed by example-not by barking at people in any matter anyway.
I’m sure some Christians won’t want to claim me between my lack of evangelical spirit and my admittance of not living a perfect “Christian lifestyle.” I don’t care. I don’t need acceptance from the masses of judgmental believers. I just need acceptance from Him.
And He has ALWAYS been there for me-not judged me once during the years I only spoke to Him when I felt like I was dying from my own self-induced hurling marathon following a bar-crawling-drinking-without-eating marathon. More importantly, He was there for me when I prayed for my daughter and her health when she was born. Not that I need proof to believe, but there certainly has been plenty.
I “found” Jesus when I was in high school-at a local small town nondenominational church that later gave me the ick. I don’t have a phenomenal “saved” story. On the contrary, it’s much more mundane. I accepted Jesus then lived a pretty secular lifestyle for the most part-only returning to Him when I needed Him. Over the past few years of my adult life I’ve been yearning for Him more when I’m not in times of desperation even though I do always need Him.
I sadly put Him on the back burner, made many mistakes and hid my faith. I do not need to run around shoving it everyone’s face, but I am proud of my relationship with Hm even though it hasn’t been anywhere near perfect. I’m grateful to have Him in my life and excited to live everyday from here on out with the goal of strengthening that communion! Cheers to the New Year & ringing it in with JC!