I do not have a “plan.” I do not have extra money saved to “float” me until I get another job. Quite frankly, I do not care.
Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I’m giving it up to God.
It was a perfect storm of a terrible day and it affirmed the fact that the health and well-being of my daughter is more important than any amount of money (& especially the piss-pittle money I was earning for the long days I was putting in.)
I haven’t told my whole family yet. Some of them have already made their own negative comments and guess what?!
I still don’t care.
I’d do anything for my daughter which is why I got that job in the first place but it didn’t turn out to be what they claim it is. I gave it a good old fashioned American hard try and after almost 6 months, I quit without notice.
Plenty of awful things happened that day, and leading up to that day, but seeing my miserable 9-month-old daughter on the drive home after the extra long day and rushed last feeding made me realize what I was doing for her turned into something I was doing to her.
The best thing about that place were her teachers. Somehow she got into the best room there and I’m so grateful she was taken care of by the best people that subpar place has. And unfortunately they aren’t appreciated in the way they deserve either.
Scientifically, chemically, biologically (however you want to view it) speaking, as a woman, I have an intuition that I’ve apparently not harnessed over my 30 years. Her teachers (also women) taught me how to listen to that when it came to my daughter’s well-being.
Although there were plenty of days leading into this abrupt departure, my guy told me this was the final straw.
This is my first child and it’s the most wonderful, challenging, excited, scary, heart-warming blessing I’ve ever experienced. However, being a first-time parent means you have to be confidentially decisive in a role you have no experience in, speaking for a little human that has no idea what’s going on and very little skills of communicating it.
The worst thing you can do is doubt yourself. And the second worst thing you can do is let other people doubt you.
The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is pray about it. I’m going to pray about this and know He’ll never let us starve and know that we’re nowhere near that reality right now anyway.
Already He’s shown me simple quick options of providing some financial income-tutoring online, dog-walking, and freelance writing. Opportunities for educating myself in new industries is also an option for a longer-term solution.
It’s not like me to leave without notice but behind able to feed my daughter the way we have a right to is more important than professionalism. I thought about giving notice. My husband made me realize we don’t owe anyone anything and taking care of our baby is what’s most important. He provides for us and said “we’ll figure it out.” That’s what a real man and good husband does for his family. I’m grateful to God to have my supportive husband that has his priorities in order as well.
The response from my employer was professional and courteous-perhaps caught off-guard by my sudden resignation. Can’t say I wasn’t as well. I know she tried to accommodate my daughter and I but the systems are not there to support women choosing to breastfeed or pump. Honestly, the systems aren’t even supportive of staff members needing bathroom breaks.
I’d like to think that maybe they’ll change their business practices because there is a lot of good happening there. Unfortunately I’m not the first to leave for this issue. Or the second. And with that projecting i doubt I’ll be the last. Fortunately, it was just my job-not my business.
I’m looking forward to moving forward. Maybe I’ll do some transcribing, graphic design or grant writing. I’m looking into software engineering degrees to pursue an actual career in something of interest finally. We’ll see!
All this to say, i almost lost track of my priorities. I’m grateful for God, my daughter and my husband. The rest will fall into place the way it’s supposed to with a little bit of grit and a lotta bit of faith.